I always keep a thank you note ready before the big day and result, it matters very little on which end of the stick I am on the next day as it doesn’t change the effort or joy experienced during the journey. The yardstick for me has always been in the attempt instead of the result or reward. I wasn’t prepared for this, but here we go…my last few words on ‘Anando Brahma’ which I would never be able to speak front up and say it out loud.
Thank you to everyone who has loved it, thank you to everyone who hasn’t too. Thank you for allowing me the chance of showcasing my story. I did all I could and promise to do better with more effort put in. To all those who sent me messages and to all those who didn’t, but went on to say such kind words about the film to others, thank you.
I am still coming to terms with the fact that I can write comedy, more than anyone else, it surprised me. I honestly have no clue of how horror works, let along horror comedy. In fact, I hate horror comedy; I do not believe it to be a natural genre to me. But, I am curious to explore the theme of darkness through my belief and experiences.
As much as I wanted to tell this story, the story wanted to find a voice to tell too and I’m glad and grateful it found me.
It’s been a decade since I set out to make films, it’s been a long road, broken, lost and beaten at every attempt. Despite it all, I hung onto it; but not to prove a point to anyone or even myself. I care little about the great tale I get to tell my grandchildren. For me, it’s all about taking my story and the journey to the grave.
The best moment though was when I received a call from the principal of my school and my maths teacher who said he was proud of me and loved the movie. It means a lot to me as I had never received a pat on my back in school. I wanted to tell him, Sir, I just can’t get my head around maths, I probably never will. I wish we had story telling in school rather than science or maths, it’s not my mistake if I wasn’t made for it. To my Telugu sir, even in his wildest dream he wouldn’t have imagined me writing Telugu dialogues (I can’t write anything beyond my name). He couldn’t have foreseen that Google Translate would come to my rescue someday. I really hope he watches this movie.
But if there’s one person I wished would watch this movie it would be my dad, he called it quits a little early. I didn’t quit dad, I didn’t want to let you down. I’m sure you would’ve been proud of me. I hold the rare and proud feat of studying class one twice, courtesy of my dad. He used to ask me not to hurry and take it slow, that it’s alright and I’ll get there sooner or later. He was right; I did take it slow and still got through school, college, work, and now filmmaking.
This is for you DAD.
This is for all of us, the ones who can’t afford to fail but can’t succeed.
To the ungifted and untalented lot,
To all of us who love what we do and are yet not very good at it,
To all of us who can’t get anything conventional, especially math, right the first, second or third time.
We might not have been blessed with talent of intelligence, but by default, nature gifts or compensates us with a little more perseverance (the irony of having to Google that spelling). We have been given the grit to survive and endure more pain and failure more than the gifted and smart ones.
I want to tell you all – If I can, anyone can mate
Just hang on there for another day, another minute…a moment longer than you think you can.
If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. If you can’t crawl either, just breathe.
Just breathe and trust me you will be fine. Trust the universe and it’ll never let you down, it can’t let itself down.
Mahi V Raghav
(Anando brahma – Director)